It’s amazing how fast the passage of life growth can be if we don’t take a close look at it. What is taken for granted at one time, quickly become obsolete and needed to be assessed at a moment’s notice.
Thus lies the hidden wisdom of actually moving out from the house once you finished high school for college or university, as being totally out of your normal environment and into a completely different setting or society can really give one something to be compared with his life.
And in my case, I’ve noticed how sheltered I am as compared to others of the same age. Being brought by an aged parents certainly have their own perks, especially in terms of financial security and general stability a doting, matured parents can only bring, but it comes at a cost, or perhaps a risk, at the behest of the child, of being left with no sense of responsibility and preparation for the adult life down the pernicious road of life.
Plainly speaking, the child growing up to be a man-child or spoiled.
And why is this so? There are couple of reasons I can think of. The matured parents can be so accustomed with their habits and responsibility that passing it down to their offspring when the time comes (it can also be argued that what ‘the time’ really meant differs for both the parents and child!) is simply too inefficient and cumbersome. The youngsters stumbled, erred, and generally stumped in the enormity that is of the adult life.
Another is that for particularly old parents that is already retired, doing the same habit and responsibility are one of the important facet of life that gave them meaning and activity to a post-employment period in which there is simply too many of free time. Passivity and sedentary life is not necessarily good, especially if you are accustomed to a routinized, but otherwise ‘fulfilling’ work that give you something to yearn for. The problem with that is, the children themselves too are entering the same phase in which employment and self-responsibility is to be expected of them.
The big cornerstones of life are self mobility, self reliance and self responsibility. Rights should always be tied in with responsibility, just as there is action and an equal reaction. Parents, in their over-protectiveness over their offspring, especially on the youngest ones might overlooked to pass this important realization in their constant strive to basically control the affairs and life of their child….even though the child is already in his or her 20’s….
True, life can be nasty, short and brutish like what Hobbes would have us believed, but in the sufficiently peaceful and predictable modern society and life we have today, the extra protectiveness actually bring more harm than good to the development of the child. In their good intention, what they are doing in the long term is actually a weaker, less resourceful and clueless generation.
And I admit, I feel like one right now.
We are raised from completely two different families, my dear. Yet, words lost me of how you are of such important value to me. Admittedly, my passivity is a legacy of my own upraising, yet this great concern, care and optimism I have for you too, is a legacy coming from it too. I don’t know how else can I express this differently, for I’ve come to truly appreciate your differences and try to fill in the gap that is empty in yours with mine…
What is love but the union between two perfectly imperfect individuals?